Calm Down, Dear 2019

Best Before by HISSYFIT

Who would have thought that when we took a punt in 2013 on programming our first ever festival of far-out feminist theatre – this was back when there was still some timidity around the word – that ‘Calm Down, Dear’ would one day be an unmissable feature of CPT’s annual programme?

Well, so it has come to pass. But don’t mistake popular for cosy. As CDD19 resoundingly demonstrates, we’re still packing this festival with the most outspoken, adventurous and insightful feminist performance we can find. Its artists are tackling abortion and motherhood, menopause and the male monopoly on genius, promiscuity and female rage. They include long-term CPT friends (Laura Mugridge; Documental Theatre; Paula Varjack) and electrifying newcomers like Nancy Ofori and In Our Hands.

Check out the schedule below, then check in to ‘Calm Down, Dear’ for some seriously striking theatre – theatre that’s anti-sexist, female-centric and fiercely alive.

Calm Down, Dear 2019 Offers:

Early Bird: book before midnight on Friday 1 March for tickets at just £7.50 (hurry, this offer is limited!)

Season pass: book 3 or more shows as part of the festival and receive a 10% discount, book 5 or more to receive 20% off.

Double bill: book two different shows on the same night for just £16 (£8 each!)

For all of the above offers simply add your tickets to the basket and we’ll do the rest!

 

Shows in this Festival

Tue 28 May, 2019

Presented by: The Basement Bunch

A striking new play about womanhood, deception and finding your place in a society that has already placed you.

Tickets £12/10 (conc.)

Tue 28 May, 2019

Presented by: Sarah Sigal and Fluff Productions

Manipulation, fake news, gaslighting, control: this new work-in-progress deconstructs Hitchcock’s 'The Lady Vanishes' to find out what happens when women’s stories aren’t believed

Tickets £8 (work-in-progress)

Wed 29 May, 2019 to Thu 30 May, 2019

Presented by: Katie Villa and Laura Mugridge

WILD is a bold new piece of theatre about how we might be using the wrong language when we talk about birth. Part riot, part disco, part rite of passage, expect comedy, music, loudness, bold talking and glitter.

Tickets £12/10 (conc.)

Wed 29 May, 2019

Presented by: Sian Clarke

Sian Clarke is a difficult woman, who needs to learn to take a joke and smile more. It’s a shame. She could have been such a good girl.

Tickets £12/10 (conc.)

Thu 30 May, 2019

Presented by: NOVA

Shirley keeps this place alive. Darts, Karaoke, the worst slam poetry you’ve ever heard and ALL the moves. Shirley tells it how it is, so why is she still hiding a tampon up her sleeve…?

Tickets £8 (work-in-progress)

Fri 31 May, 2019 to Sat 1 Jun, 2019

Presented by: Klein Blue

Meet Girl & Gorilla, handcuffed in a world of patriarchal gaze. Girl is shaved, Gorilla hairy. This is one unsolvable problem. ATFG interrogates female hairiness with “clown-like playfulness & infectious energy”.

Tickets £12/10 (conc.)

Fri 31 May, 2019 to Sat 1 Jun, 2019

Presented by: Crossline Theatre

Friday Night Love Poem tells the coming-of-age stories of three young women as they wade through myths and misinformation to find their own way of being sexually empowered.

Tickets £12/10 (conc.)

Sat 1 Jun, 2019

Presented by: Paula Varjack, Luca Rutherford, Catriona James and Maddy Costa

A devised research based performance by three female performers exploring the power and inevitability of “the baby question” on women.

Tickets £8 (work-in-progress)

Sun 2 Jun, 2019

Presented by: FRISKY

In a playful coming-of-age comedy, Tilly and Inga live in a bedroom-sized female utopia where girls run wild. Expect laugher and love songs as two friends learn to leave their Girl World behind.

Tickets £12/10 (conc.)

Sun 2 Jun, 2019

Presented by: Emily Howarth

A one woman musical comedy shit-storm about getting your heart smashed into a million tiny pieces and the songs that make you feel less alone with your crazy break-up thoughts.

Tickets £12/10 (conc.)

Mon 3 Jun, 2019

Presented by: SH!TS!CK

SH!TS!CK is a D.I.Y punk group responding to the political climate by writing original songs, with kids on their lap, Nan’s out the back - get us a snack!

Tickets £5

Tue 4 Jun, 2019

Presented by: Cheap Thrills

An entertaining show about the way pop culture and the media (mis)shape female friendship. Featuring pillow fights, lip syncing, silly dancing. 

Tickets £12/10 (conc.)

Tue 4 Jun, 2019

Presented by: Lilly Burton

“I was 19 when I had an abortion. Looking back, I think it was a self-destructive attempt to make someone love me more. It didn’t work. The prick!”

Tickets £12/10 (conc.)

Wed 5 Jun, 2019

Presented by: Clara Potter-Sweet

Joan of Arc didn’t die at the stake – she was killed by categorisation. A devised show about making myths, kaleidoscopic images, and the fear of the undefinable woman.

Tickets £8 (work-in-progress)

Wed 5 Jun, 2019

Presented by: Snapper Theatre

Inspired by pornography, Disney princesses, Hollywood stereotypes and the Leeds club scene, Hear Me Out explores concepts of womanhood from the broadly political to the deeply personal.

Tickets £12/10 (conc.)

Thu 6 Jun, 2019

Presented by: Femme Club

You are hereby cordially invited to Heidi and Emily’s end of the world, frenniversary, surprise disco party! Leave all your worries of our final days behind and celebrate friendship #goodvibesonly.

Tickets £7.50 (work-in-progress)

Thu 6 Jun, 2019

Presented by: HISSYFIT

A cross-artform interrogation of the profundity and ludicrousness of losing your virginity, and how maybe, maybe, it’s all a bit bulls**t. Welcome to The Clinic.

Tickets £7.50 (work-in-progress)

Thu 6 Jun, 2019

Presented by: Next to Him Productions

Two storytellers, one fast fashion question: What do we value most as a society, convenience or life? Dance, theatre and Topshop will help us teardown the seams of the fast fashion industry.

Tickets £7.50 (work-in-progress)

Fri 7 Jun, 2019 to Sat 8 Jun, 2019

Presented by: Nancy Ofori Geywu

Romantic relationships shouldn’t be this difficult right? A young Ghanaian woman questions who she is after the effects of emotional abuse, and begins to reflect on what self-love actually means.

Tickets £8 (work-in-progress)

Fri 7 Jun, 2019 to Sat 8 Jun, 2019

Presented by: Sarah Blanc

A hilarious dance comedy exploring contemporary standards of beauty and the conflict with feminist ideals. Why do women go to extreme (and painful) lengths to be ‘beautiful’?

Tickets £12/10 (conc.)

Sat 8 Jun, 2019

Presented by: Louise Orwin

Inspired by the moments they have been hysterical, crazy, or over-emotional Louise Orwin presents an opportunity and an exorcism: a performative round table event for rage junkies and the rage-inclined, followed by a communal ritual and destruction party.

Tickets £8/6 (concession)

Sun 9 Jun, 2019

Presented by: Theodora van der Beek

A Youtuber princess is trapped in a tower in a world of pink. Isolated from the world, she is plagued by the unsettling idea that perhaps there could be more....

Tickets £12/10 (conc.)

Sun 9 Jun, 2019

Presented by: Lauren Silver & Helen Foster

A fun and charming slapstick spectacular, (Silly) Little Women is a joyfully daft female-led clown show inspired by classic stories exploring the unbreakable bond between sisters

Tickets £8 (work-in-progress)

Mon 10 Jun, 2019

Presented by: Various artists

An explosive night of performance from which new universes of theatre may one day emerge, based on the themes of Calm Down, Dear.

Tickets £12/10 (conc.)

Tue 11 Jun, 2019 to Wed 12 Jun, 2019

Presented by: In Our Hands Theatre

A vocal journey into the messiness of one woman’s motherhood. Baba’s Song is a wild roar in the woods and a panic attack in Mothercare.

Tickets £12/10 (conc.)

Tue 11 Jun, 2019

Presented by: Bait Theatre

We all have a princess stuck inside us. If we kill her, what’s next? Bait invite you on a savage playground ride to tear up the stories that trap us.

Tickets £12/10 (conc.)

Wed 12 Jun, 2019

Presented by: Rose Eye Productions

Remember that 16-year-old house party when you did that thing with that boy in your mate’s parents’ bathroom? Me Too. Experimental gig-theatre unravelling ideas of consent when we’re young through daring alternative music, spoken word and soundscape.

Tickets £12/10 (conc.)

Thu 13 Jun, 2019 to Sat 15 Jun, 2019

Presented by: Documental Theatre

A Country and Western musical about the BHS pension crisis. With a score that’s catchier than Ebola and two hard-to-forget homicidal menopausal heroines, Hot Flushes is probably the only show you'll see this year that puts hutzpah and foot spa in the same lyric.

Tickets £12/10 (conc.)

Thu 13 Jun, 2019

Presented by: Good Friends For A Lifetime

Lily and Maeve are just like Simon & Garfunkel. Except they can’t write songs or play guitar. This is a show about being a woman artist and making art with your friends.

Tickets £12/10 (conc.)

Fri 14 Jun, 2019 to Sat 15 Jun, 2019

Presented by: Kelly Green

A messy confessional journey about sex, single-mums, class, consent and what it feels like to be seen as a bit of a goer.

Tickets £8 (work-in-progress)

Sun 16 Jun, 2019

Presented by: Namashkar

A double bill of two powerful South Asian female-led pieces examining sex, periods, abortion and the “good Indian girl”, this compendium reflects on culture, society and feminism in British-Indian culture and the challenges South Asian women face.

Tickets £8 (work-in-progress)

Sun 16 Jun, 2019

Presented by: Rebecca McCutcheon and Caridad Svich for Lost Text/Found Space

Part play, part dream, part meeting, part imagining a future in which new ways of connecting must be found…. a group of barely connected women come together, feeling their way towards… connection?

Tickets £8 (work-in-progress)